My girl Oprah told me that 80% of us are wearing the wrong bra size. I believe her and know that I am part of that statistic. I've been wearing a 34B since I was 20 years old, but can tell by the spillage that it's just not right. I know lots of useless info, such as how to measure your boobs for the correct sized bra. But I don't have a loose tape measure laying around the house.
Last week, a co-worker announced to a group of us that one of the most exciting things she did this summer was going for a bra fitting. That served as my inspiration. So today I grabbed Haillie and we were off for a day of new bras.
Usually I hate when store associates come up to me, especially the second I step through the door. But today I was grateful for Dawn; for she would soon become BFF with my boobs. I love the uniforms at Soma. Black pants and a kimono type of top, so they can pop out one of their own camisole-covered boobs to show you that the bra is indeed seamless. Love it! So Dawn prances over and I tell her my blurb about what O says and how I'm one of them and how I need some new bras. With a smile, she whips out her trusty tape measure and measures me right then and there. Then, her - "What kind of bra do you like?" Then, me - "Um, the kind that separates, not squishes, and goes kind of low, and that's it."
Three minutes later she has six bras ready for war. We proceed to a dressing room and she shows me the proper way to put on a bra. Listen up ladies - First put both arms through the straps. Next, lean over and let your breasts fall into the cups. Then comes the tricky part, while still leaning over, reach around and use the middle hooks to fasten it. Next, stand up erect (tee hee!) and check for three things. 1. The straps - They should be snug enough to just get one finger underneath. 2. The back - It should go straight across. 3. The spillage - There shouldn't be anything spilling out of the cups. I call that the third (or fourth) boob, not cute. Please note that #1 is the only one that can be adjusted; that's Dawn's first job when she re-enters the room. Yes, that's right. I didn't know this but a bra fitting is not like a jeans fitting, where the associate asks "Everything alright?" and gives you another size from the other side of the door. Nope, Dawn gives me about four minutes to put each bra on the proper way and comes on in. I very quickly get used to her analyzing each fit. 34C - Wow look at me, errr...look at my boobs! The bra feels good, but I have spillage in a major and unattractive way (Not that anybody but me is seeing my bra these days, but that's beside the point.). The spillage is not good, I tell her and maybe we should go for a fuller, but still sexy, cup.
Then that girl crushes my spirits. She tells me that the reason I have spillage on one side and not the other is that...my left boob is smaller than my right. Oh, I want to cry buckets. I've always said that my left was lazy, kind of like a lazy eye. It doesn't wander around, but it gets aroused way after the right. The right quickly responds to stimuli like cold, wet, and a yummy guy. But the left just kind of sits there like "I'm so not interested." So now not only is it lazy, but it's also smaller than its twin. This may be just the thing that forces me to therapy.
Dawn tells me that in my situation (which is common, thank you very much) she likes to cater to the larger breast. So she leaves and returns with a (drum roll, please) 34D! Oh my! I know for a fact that I'm not going to fill up a D cup, but how many chances in life do you get to try one on. After she left I squeal and lean over. I'm in shock as I stand up and thought I may fall over, but my boobs certainly weren't going to fall out! Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks great! Sexy even! I turn around, do jumping jacks and a head stand (okay, j/k) just to make sure it was staying in place. It was official, my true bra size is a 34D!!!
After giving her approval, Dawn brings me six more. I finally decide on a memory foam one and their best-selling seamless, t-shirt one. She even throws in a free panty (lacy hipsters, yum!), a laundry bag (complete with a mini-lesson on laundering), and a spiel on storage.
This is a win-win situation; I find comfort in knowing my true bra size and my boobs will find comfort in falling into my new bras! As for the size difference, no one's complained yet and I doubt no one ever will!
Go get fitted, ladies!
Last week, a co-worker announced to a group of us that one of the most exciting things she did this summer was going for a bra fitting. That served as my inspiration. So today I grabbed Haillie and we were off for a day of new bras.
Usually I hate when store associates come up to me, especially the second I step through the door. But today I was grateful for Dawn; for she would soon become BFF with my boobs. I love the uniforms at Soma. Black pants and a kimono type of top, so they can pop out one of their own camisole-covered boobs to show you that the bra is indeed seamless. Love it! So Dawn prances over and I tell her my blurb about what O says and how I'm one of them and how I need some new bras. With a smile, she whips out her trusty tape measure and measures me right then and there. Then, her - "What kind of bra do you like?" Then, me - "Um, the kind that separates, not squishes, and goes kind of low, and that's it."
Three minutes later she has six bras ready for war. We proceed to a dressing room and she shows me the proper way to put on a bra. Listen up ladies - First put both arms through the straps. Next, lean over and let your breasts fall into the cups. Then comes the tricky part, while still leaning over, reach around and use the middle hooks to fasten it. Next, stand up erect (tee hee!) and check for three things. 1. The straps - They should be snug enough to just get one finger underneath. 2. The back - It should go straight across. 3. The spillage - There shouldn't be anything spilling out of the cups. I call that the third (or fourth) boob, not cute. Please note that #1 is the only one that can be adjusted; that's Dawn's first job when she re-enters the room. Yes, that's right. I didn't know this but a bra fitting is not like a jeans fitting, where the associate asks "Everything alright?" and gives you another size from the other side of the door. Nope, Dawn gives me about four minutes to put each bra on the proper way and comes on in. I very quickly get used to her analyzing each fit. 34C - Wow look at me, errr...look at my boobs! The bra feels good, but I have spillage in a major and unattractive way (Not that anybody but me is seeing my bra these days, but that's beside the point.). The spillage is not good, I tell her and maybe we should go for a fuller, but still sexy, cup.
Then that girl crushes my spirits. She tells me that the reason I have spillage on one side and not the other is that...my left boob is smaller than my right. Oh, I want to cry buckets. I've always said that my left was lazy, kind of like a lazy eye. It doesn't wander around, but it gets aroused way after the right. The right quickly responds to stimuli like cold, wet, and a yummy guy. But the left just kind of sits there like "I'm so not interested." So now not only is it lazy, but it's also smaller than its twin. This may be just the thing that forces me to therapy.
Dawn tells me that in my situation (which is common, thank you very much) she likes to cater to the larger breast. So she leaves and returns with a (drum roll, please) 34D! Oh my! I know for a fact that I'm not going to fill up a D cup, but how many chances in life do you get to try one on. After she left I squeal and lean over. I'm in shock as I stand up and thought I may fall over, but my boobs certainly weren't going to fall out! Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks great! Sexy even! I turn around, do jumping jacks and a head stand (okay, j/k) just to make sure it was staying in place. It was official, my true bra size is a 34D!!!
After giving her approval, Dawn brings me six more. I finally decide on a memory foam one and their best-selling seamless, t-shirt one. She even throws in a free panty (lacy hipsters, yum!), a laundry bag (complete with a mini-lesson on laundering), and a spiel on storage.
This is a win-win situation; I find comfort in knowing my true bra size and my boobs will find comfort in falling into my new bras! As for the size difference, no one's complained yet and I doubt no one ever will!
Go get fitted, ladies!
2 comments:
What is Soma?!? Could they help me out? I never knew there was a proper way to put on a bra! Everytime I get a bra fitting they ALWAYS tell me the wrong size, ALWAYS! Then I have to order the bras and when they get in they never fit! Such are the trials and ordeals of the (supposedly) blessed. The selection is horrific at best. I am so glad you had a great experience while just a touch envious as well. Great blog!
Hmmmm I couold have told you that you werent a 34b anymore lol you been spilling all over the place for a while now. Ms 34D
Post a Comment