2011/Never again

The last hours of 2011 are ticking away. Despite all of the amazingly good things that happened, I'm struggling not to chalk it up as a loss due to one measly thing.

I spent every single day in love with first one man, then another; both belonging to someone else.

Fortunately, I don't have the mental energy needed to evaluate why it happened. But I will commit every available brain cell to making sure a single day, let alone a whole year, like this never happens again.

Surprisingly, a few of my closest friends have questioned my decision to eventually walk away from these two men. While the decisions were unbelievably painful, they were also unbelievably necessary.

I wholeheartedly subscribe to the concept of the universe. It's responsible for the cyclical nature of our lives - we get back what we put out.

Not only did I spend every day in love with their men, I also spent it extremely embarrassed. Not at what they (the men, my friends, etc.) thought, but what it thought. The universe was definitely laughing at my ordeal. "Why should I give her an available man (with the same or even better qualities than this one) when she's accepting the man who's not available?," it chuckled.

But all that is over now. I won't accept the role they were both offering. I know the universe has my back on this. Beginning this very moment, it will once again know that I will only allow someone to enter my life who is just as available as I am.

Welcoming all that 2012 has to offer with open arms...